Wedding Blog: Wined. Dined. Now, off to the chapel.

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It's been a couple years, but since those wrinkles in time so much has happened. This post is the beginning of my wedding blog, which will take you through the two week leading up to our nuptials on June 14th, 2013. Here we go.

For starters, I was proposed to on the eve of Christmas of 2010. We've taken our time to focus on school, maturing as young adults and to plan the wedding itself. This time has served its purpose! With ample time, we've successfully planned the biggest party of our lives, which is a mere reflection of our relationship and joining of the two parties. 

On my end, I've learned relationships can either extract identity or lend itself to creating new identities that can work in harmony with your significant other. Lucky for me, I have an amazing, tireless and loving mister who loves me for me and encourages me day in and day out to maintain individuality. Since 2007, I've grown madly in love with the musician, the philosopher and the student. Soon he will be my husband. I'm a lucky gal.

Wedding process: 

For those who are wondering, the wedding process is imperfect. As one who strives toward perfection, let me tell you: it's not worth the stress. 


For example:
I spent hours on end and many, many days and nights seeking out the "perfect" gown. The "it" gown. The hype is all-too-overwhelming. Wedding day, your style should be an "exaggerated version of yourself," says one wise wedding guru. As I flipped through the typical dress sites, I grew bored with the satin, stiff bridal gowns almost every bridal shop offered. 

I sought after the glamour of the '40s dancers, in their swiftly moving gowns made of silk and chiffon. Turning my attention to "handmade" sections on Etsy.com, I came across Reddoll designs by Tatyana Merenyuk. Clicking on each of the three listings appearing as wedding gowns, I instantly fell in love. I was swept up in her free-flowing fabrics and styles emulating the '40s. 

It was one of those cheesy moments where a shooting star booms across a black sky. Hundreds of messages back and forth, I customized this whimsical gown and it arrived on my doorstep just four months later. *I can't show the gown just yet, my loves.

Now, this isn't to say the process was easy. No. I struggled with design limitations, my own crazy ideas while being caught up in a frenzy and having to settle down to acknowledge Tatyana knew what she was doing and was trying to help. Even after I received the gown, I had to send it back in a flurry because I was just too damn short - even with four-inch-heels! This is just an example to show the most beautiful things don't come easy.
Life is beautifully imperfect, as is the loving relationship you have with your fiance'. Chaos - in some sense - grounds us to appreciate the beauties of life. It's unexpected, exciting and stimulating. Let it take you on this journey. 

Two weeks until our wedding day and I couldn't be more excited. 

Loss and gain

July 8 was a tragic day for me. 


My phone was ringing at 2 a.m. and when I picked it up, a friend asked, in an unusually somber voice, if I'd seen posts on Facebook about our friend Aaron Carrillo, a boy who played drums and lead guitar in our worship band. 


I immediately got out of bed and checked Facebook. I looked on Aaron's wall and scrolled down to what seemed like endless posts of "I'm going to miss you's" and "can't believe this happened" type of messages.  


Reality set in and I realized that this boy, at the tender age of 16, [and his friend, Jonathan Cervoni] had died in a drunk driving accident. Aaron had died? I couldn't believe it. 


It was only two days ago that I'd sat with him and several other friends for dinner. He'd been telling me about a girl he'd been interested who he'd taken out just the weekend prior. 


His loss has me thinking of the fragility of life and the sense of absence of someone we care for. 


I appreciate life, or rather have been reminded to be more appreciative. 


Everyday Aaron made sure he was a living example of his beliefs and always put his best foot forward to execute his passion for music. 


His life is an inspiration, despite his few years on this earth. Just think, he was able to impact hundreds, maybe even thousands of people in his 16 years with us. 


Don't ever underestimate your impact or influence on others. 


You can read my article on Aaron by clicking this link: In Remembrance of Aaron K. Carrillo


V 

Ol' New Orleans

The sounds of jazz echoing across the streets of New Orleans was just a taste of what was to come the following day. The culture of Louisiana was evident every place we went to and step-by-step, we were confronted with all sorts of people – some sad, some scary and some entertaining.


The ride from the airport was already an adventure. The driver accelerating and swerving his way through traffic, as if he had an important place to be and was just trying to rid himself of us. I held on to my fiancé’s hand, tensing up my shoulders all the while enjoying this exhilarating ride with the humid Louisiana air hitting my face. I had no idea how this short trip would turn out, I was just excited that we had finally stepped into the land of so many legendary jazz performers.

As we stepped foot into The Roosevelt Hotel, I was taken by surprise by the beauty of its architecture, crystal chandeliers and golden accents. I’d seen pictures of this place but to actually be staying in this historic hotel was a dream come true. As we continued along inside, the shiny floors and seemingly endless series of chandeliers had me gasping in awe. How I managed to get us here was by chance but we were there.


Walking the streets of New Orleans was a different experience. However, the griminess of the streets gave character to this interesting place. The stench gave me a sense of how things were during those famous celebratory minutes, hours, or even days. Although I disliked the uneven pavements, and broken sidewalks, there was something that I was attracted to.


It could have been the antiquity of the old bookstore that, as soon as you walked in, had that wonderful smell of musty old pages and had that quiet, studious atmosphere that an old library would have had years back. The beauty of this old bookstore took me from present into the past, with the beautiful, disintegrating brick walls and wooden staircase that was beat up and rugged. It was through this bookstore that I connected with New Orleans.

Or it may have been the tantalizing scent of the candy shop we ended up going into. The dozens of chocolates, chunks of fudge and endless supply of sweets were made in the old fashioned way and the quaint little shop had such a joy in the atmosphere it was contagious. It also could have been the beautiful, old houses we passed by as we strolled around the French Quarter. Whatever it was, I had found a place I knew I wanted to return to. Be it to live or to visit, I have to come back. 


Now the Jazz Festival was fantastic. We went to see The Strokes for Polo's birthday because, since I knew that was his favorite band, I'd decided to book this trip on a whim. As told in my prior entry, I didn't know what to expect. I anticipated and anticipated until the time came to leave. 


This mini-adventure was a complete and utter success, to say the least. It left me wanting to stay a little bit longer and experience more of what we'd experienced in one day. (But in one day we sure got a lot done!) 


I look forward to making more memories with Polo and I'm positive that our marriage will be full of adventures such as this one. Whatever the future holds, I will look forward to and enjoy the memories we made this past weekend. 


New Orleans will forever be imbedded in our hearts. 


V

What's to come

For me, what's to come is an adventure. 

I'm about to whisked away at 3:50 p.m. to a very foreign place, according to me. Everything will be different: the food, the people, the architecture and most importantly the music-which has been introduced to the world by the renowned jazz singers and musicians these past 100 years. 

By now I'm pretty sure you have an idea of where I'm going. No? New Orleans! 

Although this trip came to pass through my impulse to gift my most wonderful fiance, I'm in need of a spontaneous adventure. 

The main objective of this trip is to experience the musical culture of New Orleans...and to see The Strokes (not jazz, I know). 

HOWEVER, we WILL be checking out some jazz bands and Lauren Hill will be performing as well. 

The food...how I've heard about the delicious food! I canNOT wait to savor everything! 

All in all, I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. Photos to come. Keep a lookout!

V

Right place, right time

I'm not one to believe that everything in life is destined to happen. I mean, I understand that certain opportunities seem perfectly placed into our lives but I stand by the "right place, right time" idea. 

I've recently placed myself in just that, and instead of hesitating, as I usually would, I jumped right in. The experience has inspired me to continue jumping right in because it isn't everyday you have that opportunity. I've made new acquaintances that have turned into friends and those friends are helping me jump start my passion in writing.


Sure, I write a little here, a little there but never have I completely secluded myself from the world to entertain the thoughts in my mind and write them down. Now, I will begin.


Today's entry is short but sweet. I can hardly contain my excitement to begin my career as a writer, not specified into journalism, but to explore all facets of what writing entails. Let's see where it takes me.

V

The tide is turning.

Life is such an inspiration. Vague, I know. But there are a variety of things we can pull from the many different branches of life, it just depends on the decision.


As I sort through the bundle of thoughts in my mind, I'm coming across memories - both good and bad - that have all attributed to the woman I'm working so hard to be.


At first, motivation was a very foreign notion to me. The years 2006 through 2009 were not very productive years for me, however, they were years full of experiences that pressed and pulled, stretched and molded me into who I am today.


Those years I was not at all clear about my ambitions. Who would I be in three years? I didn't know. I was falling in love, singing in front of hundreds - being carefree. Who wouldn't enjoy that life? No responsibilities ( or so I thought), no enemies (once again, so aloof to the truth) - and I was the "new" girl being catered to and judged by who I appeared to be, not for who I truly was.


I was soaking it all in. Not for long.


Next on my life's checklist was a series of not-so-carefree moments. I found myself clinging to fraying friendships and losing myself in others. I didn't know who I was by MY standards because I had, for so long, been basing my identity on THEM to validate my worth.


The fading sanity of my grandmother and my grandfather's broken heart is felt throughout my home. I found my home life becoming increasingly unorganized and disheveled. I felt like I was losing grip.


Somehow, though, I was inspired by this harsh reality. To see how fragile and short life can be and how fleeting happiness is nudged me to do something with my life. This motivation was inspired by another major factor in my life.


At this time, love is what grounded me. He was, and is, my supporter and confidant, never ceasing to encourage me to find myself. To be independent and passionate about something in life. His persistence was not in vain.


These past four years, we've fallen deeply in love and both of us were able to find who we were. Life wasn't easy then- it never really is - but we've been able to overcome. And now, here we are - engaged and planning our future!


As far as my singing goes, I cannot deny others the opportunity to step up and experience everything I was able to when it was my time. Truth be told: to everything there is a season.


I'm not sure where I will end up in two years but one thing I am sure of: I will marry my best friend and love of my life. My philosopher, my muse. Our lives will change drastically but I can hardly contain the thrill of starting my life with him.


I am excited for the next adventure of my young life. We will never know for sure where we'll end up, but I trust that with diligence and faith we will make this adventure worthwhile.


V

Light as I see it

Light can change the expression on a person’s face, as well as capture their life’s journey. Through the wrinkled lines of an old beggar man on Robinson Avenue, to the glimmer in that same man’s eye capturing his joy in speaking to me, the bystander. 

The light in the early mornings and afternoons, 2-4 p.m., are my most enjoyable times to go shooting. Why? Because there seems to be more dimension, highlighting the textures that speak volumes about the subject. 

Shooting a photo when the light is flat across the subject is boring. The story is told through every grain, shadow and wrinkle. It is at this time I feel more confident about shooting. However, the light at around 7 or 8 p.m. is also enjoyable, but a bit more challenging. It was then that I had to truly “see” as a photographer, seeking the perfect tones and textures but most importantly, the highlight of the photo. 

The light also dances in the wind, which lucky for me happened quite often today. The shadows created by this “dance” revealed new shapes I would have never seen, stretching and compressing the subject depending on the time the light hit. 

Through the viewfinder I found new shapes and subjects I would have otherwise never found using my plain, “naked” eye. I have discovered that the beauty of a photograph is not merely based on what subject you choose, but how you use the light that shines in that moment. 

I prefer that light show every detail, every flaw – it is then that the viewer is able to connect; not with a reality, as Bruce Berman has explicitly taught, but these “flaws” provide an abstract photograph that appeals and gets one to ponder.